Madamot
Juan: Oys, ano yan? Pinya? Pahingi naman dyan.
Pedro: Pahingi? Nasaan ka noong nagbubungkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka noong nagtatanim ako habang kumukulog, kumikidlat at bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan? Nasaan ka noong oras na nag-aani ako na nagkalat ang maraming ahas sa dadaanan ko, noong naghihirap ako sa pagpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka?
Juan: Nakakulong kasi ako noon! Nakapatay ako ng madamot!
Pedro: Ganun ba? Kuha ka na, kahit ilan! May langka pa doon!
Best things to say if caught sleeping on your desk…
“They told me at the blood bank this
might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap as
described in that time management course you sent me.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off
the White-Out You probably got here just in time!”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was
meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new
paradigm.”
“I was testing my keyboard for drool
resistance.”
“I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve
work-related stress.”
“Damn! Why did you interrupt
me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest
problem.”
“The coffee machine is broken…”
“Someone must’ve put decaf in the
wrong pot…”
“ … in Jesus’ name.
Amen.”
Sekyu
Airforce: "No guts, No glory!"
Marines: "No retreat, No surrender!"
Army: "No pain, No gain!"
Naks ayaw patalo ang...
Security Guards: "No I.D, No entry!"
Naruto o Son Goku
Sa presinto…
Pulis: Ano ang itsura ng suspek?
Saksi: Naka-orange po siya at dilaw ang buhok.
Artist: (gumuhit) Bossing, hindi natin kayang hulihin ‘to…
Pulis: Bakit?
Artist: Dilaw raw ang buhok at naka-orange… Kung hindi si Naruto, si Son Goku ‘to!
Eyebol
Pedro: may ka eyebol ako mamaya, ano kaya itsura nya? Kasi sabi nya, may hawig siyang celebrity! “SHA” daw ang palayaw niya!
Juan: jackpot ka pare! Baka Shaina Magdayao o Sharon Cuneta!
(after eyebol, pedro went home…)
Juan: kumusta? Bakit malungkot ka yata?
Pedro: dioniSHA pare!dioniSHA!
Palusot
Cholo: Ah, waiter, bakit may langaw itong Lomi ko?
Waiter: E, kasi po Sir, sa sobrang sarap ng Lomi namin pati langaw gusto makatikim.
Juan: Oys, ano yan? Pinya? Pahingi naman dyan.
Pedro: Pahingi? Nasaan ka noong nagbubungkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka noong nagtatanim ako habang kumukulog, kumikidlat at bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan? Nasaan ka noong oras na nag-aani ako na nagkalat ang maraming ahas sa dadaanan ko, noong naghihirap ako sa pagpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka?
Juan: Nakakulong kasi ako noon! Nakapatay ako ng madamot!
Pedro: Ganun ba? Kuha ka na, kahit ilan! May langka pa doon!
Best things to say if caught sleeping on your desk…
“They told me at the blood bank this
might happen.”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap as
described in that time management course you sent me.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off
the White-Out You probably got here just in time!”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was
meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new
paradigm.”
“I was testing my keyboard for drool
resistance.”
“I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve
work-related stress.”
“Damn! Why did you interrupt
me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest
problem.”
“The coffee machine is broken…”
“Someone must’ve put decaf in the
wrong pot…”
“ … in Jesus’ name.
Amen.”
Sekyu
Airforce: "No guts, No glory!"
Marines: "No retreat, No surrender!"
Army: "No pain, No gain!"
Naks ayaw patalo ang...
Security Guards: "No I.D, No entry!"
Naruto o Son Goku
Sa presinto…
Pulis: Ano ang itsura ng suspek?
Saksi: Naka-orange po siya at dilaw ang buhok.
Artist: (gumuhit) Bossing, hindi natin kayang hulihin ‘to…
Pulis: Bakit?
Artist: Dilaw raw ang buhok at naka-orange… Kung hindi si Naruto, si Son Goku ‘to!
Eyebol
Pedro: may ka eyebol ako mamaya, ano kaya itsura nya? Kasi sabi nya, may hawig siyang celebrity! “SHA” daw ang palayaw niya!
Juan: jackpot ka pare! Baka Shaina Magdayao o Sharon Cuneta!
(after eyebol, pedro went home…)
Juan: kumusta? Bakit malungkot ka yata?
Pedro: dioniSHA pare!dioniSHA!
Palusot
Cholo: Ah, waiter, bakit may langaw itong Lomi ko?
Waiter: E, kasi po Sir, sa sobrang sarap ng Lomi namin pati langaw gusto makatikim.
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